Of Broken Heaters and Wrong Lyrics
by HecateA
Summary: Audrey isn't sure if it's possible to freeze to insanity, but if it is that's definitely what's going to happen to the lot of them this Christmas Eve. Oneshot.


**Author's Note: **Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **The following characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and this story derives from her original works, storylines, and world. Please do not sue me, I can barely pay tuition.

**Warnings:** NA

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**Of Broken Heaters and Wrong Lyrics **

"A professional Quidditch player, a prized ministerial secretary, and one of Britain's only Mermish interpreters—and yet nobody can pay the heating on time," Audrey grumbled to herself. She wasn't sure if her bedmates would hear her, given the amount of blankets under which they were buried under.

"It's _because _we're all so successful and busy," Oliver said, tightening the curl of his arm around her waist. She snuggled into Percy more and found a burst of heat for a moment. Not long though, because Percy's feet were just about freezing.

"Percy, where's that green blanket?" she asked. "You know, the one your Mum made us? Extra large with the stripes and everything?"

"It's here," Percy said. "It's the third layer we've got on, right underneath Oli's Holyhead Harpies blanket."

"Merlin," Audrey said, teeth chattering.

She was already wearing a pair of leggings under her pajama pants, her two warmest pairs of socks, a sweater, and a jumper. The two men framing her were equally bundled up, but the flat was frigid—absolutely _frigid. _Maybe if Percy didn't sleep over at George's or in his office, if Oliver hadn't been staying with a teammate up North as the training got crazier, and perhaps if Audrey hadn't been away on business to help with water right negotiations in Scotland… well, maybe someone would have remembered to pay the bill and they'd have noticed how long the heater had been broken. Maybe they'd have gotten someone in on time to fix it before Christmas Eve hit. Maybe they'd have thought to learn a decent warming charm. Audrey couldn't _wait _for the Weasley family Christmas—surely Arthur or Hermione would know something, perhaps even one of the many Aurors in the family…

"We could start throwing clothes on top of the pile," Oliver suggested. "If we've run out of blankets?"

"Not your Quidditch robes, they smell disgusting," Percy said immediately.

"Those still aren't washed?" Audrey said. "Oliver, come on…"

"Thanks, love," Oliver said. He snuggled into the hood of Audrey's jumper.

"Don't steal my heat," she muttered.

"I'm not," Oliver said.

"I'm stealing from both of you. Surely that's an expected benefit," Percy admitted.

She was going to quip back, but she did fit quite nicely against him so she held her peace—and more importantly he held her and she held onto Oliver.

"That is one nice way to look at all of this," Oliver said. "It's the first time we've all been in the same place at the same time in ages."

"Merry Christmas, yes," Percy said.

"I can't help but feel like there is some element of coercion to our particular sleeping arrangement," Audrey said. "Are we sure these are all the blankets we own?"

"Well, look at it that way if you will," Oliver said. He kissed the top of Audrey's head and then leaned over to kiss Percy's lips too. "I'm going to go ahead and be thankful that we're all together—even if we are huddling for warmth to avoid freezing our arses off."

"Fa la la la la," Percy sang in that dry humour of his.

Audrey burst out laughing and Percy laughed along with her—she felt the warmth of his breath against the back of her neck, and Oliver's giggles shook his body too.

"Deck the bed with all your blankets…" Audrey sang. The laughing continued.

"Tis the season to crack a window," Oliver added.

"Fa la la la la," Percy went on. "La la la la…"

"Freezing night," Audrey sang. "Frigid night… All is blue… all is harsh…"

"We wish the heating came back on, we wish the heating came back on, we wish the heating came back on," Oliver said.

Audrey giggled too hard to finish her bit and whatever Percy was going to say got lost in his chuckling. She wondered if people went mad in the final stages of hypothermia, like you did if you got lost and dehydrated in a dessert. Then she decided that she didn't care. There were no two people in the world that she'd rather freeze with.

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**Stacked with: **MC4A; Shipping Wars; Hogwarts; Winter Bingo

**Individual Challenge(s): **Gryffindor MC (x2); Poly Bribery; Winter Wonderland; Home For The Holidays; Old Shoes; Trope It Up C (Huddling For Warmth); Themes & Things A (Love); Themes & Things B (Joy); Themes & Things C (Blanket); Themes & Things D (Sweater/Jumper); Lovely Triangle; Rian-Russo Inversion; Flags & Ribbons; In a Flash

**Word Count: **676

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_**Shipping Wars**_

**Ship (Team): **Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks

**List (Prompt): **Winter Big List (Not Actually Unrequited)

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_**Winter Bingo**_

**Space (prompt): **4A (Green)


End file.
